In case you haven't seen this e-mail being passed around...
Political Science 101 --
DEMOCRAT
> You have two cows.
> Your neighbor has none.
> You feel guilty for being successful.
> You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for
everyone.
>
> REPUBLICAN
> You have two cows.
> Your neighbor has none.
> So?
>
> SOCIALIST
> You have two cows.
> The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
> You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
>
> COMMUNIST
> You have two cows.
> The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
> You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
>
> CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
>
> BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
> You have two cows.
> Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
milk the other, and then pours the
> milk down the drain.
>
> AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the
second one. You force the two cows to
> produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow
drops dead. You spin an announcement
> to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing
expenses. Your stock goes up.
>
> FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch
and drink wine.
> Life is good.
>
> JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
> They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
> Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
>
> GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred
> miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.
>
> ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
> You break for lunch.
> Life is good.
>
> RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five
cows.
> You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you
have 42 cows.
> The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really
have.
>
> TALIBAN CORPORATION
> You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
> You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's
private parts. You get a $40 million grant
> from the U.S. government to find alternatives to milk production
but use the money to buy weapons.
>
AL-QAEDA CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> They go into hiding.
> They send radio tapes of their mooing.
>
> POLISH CORPORATION
> You have two bulls.
> Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk
them.
>
> BELGIAN CORPORATION
> You have one cow.
> The cow is schizophrenic.
> Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
> The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow
wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
> The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.
>
> FLORIDA CORPORATION
> You have a black cow and a brown cow.
> Everyone votes for the best looking one.
> Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
accidentally vote for the black one.
> Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither.
> Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
> Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one
you think is the best-looking cow.
>
> CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
> You have millions of cows.
> They make real California cheese.
> Only five speak English. Most are illegal.
> Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
>
